I’ve looked back over a couple of posts at the end of 2022 and have no memory of making them. Apparently, I’ve not posted about Europe which is a mistake because I’m just going to forget more and more details.
My days still lack structure. They are filled with task lists which are largely disorganized and incomplete. I feel I waste a lot of time everyday doing absolutely nothing and when I say that, I mean it. Watching TV, lying down with the cat, cleaning the same things over and over, laundry.
Oh, there are some small wins. Today I finally got and used some vacuum storage bags for bedding I’m not ready to get rid of. Now I have to find a place for compressed comforters and bedspreads. Yesterday, I got rid of six brand new bras to the FB “Buy Nothing” group. I sold the Cricut materials that I bought who knows how long ago that are good for a machine that I literally do not own.
I started Ozempic on Jan 14th and am down about 14 lbs. Problem is, I’ve been down 14 lbs now for 2 weeks. No matter, this stuff makes you slightly nauseous all the time, so an appetite is one thing you do not have. And if you eat too much or too late, the price is heartburn. Thank God for Gaviscon liquid.
I need to make photo books of European pictures. When I am old, I will not be pawing through a phone to try to figure out which picture was taken of what and when.
I need to exercise – that would undoubtedly make me feel better but it’s torture getting started. I’ve been exploring all of the following without any real engagement in any of it:
- Traveling to Florida – got the master BR painted and put up some peel and stick wallpaper in the master closet. So now left with 2 more closets and a utility room to paint. Problem is that I left FL on 2/19 and my feet are still bruised from climbing up and down the ladder there. I have no desire to ever pick up a paint brush again. Which is a problem, since home here is going to need it sooner rather than later.
- Taking a Spanish class online via the local community college – for a person with a PhD, this is proving surprisingly difficult. Probably because there were 206 vocabulary words to memorize the first week. The pedagogy is a hot mess and as a result, I still cannot remember how to engage in a simple “Hello, how are you? I’m fine, and you?” conversation without cheating.
- Crafts – oh the crafts. Cricut, sublimation, rock painting, dot mandalas, scrapbooking, paper crafts, card stamping, the list goes on. I get started, then distracted, then accomplish nothing. I am posting in this blog instead of weeding a cat mandala I just created. Oi.
- Gardening -Still. Too. Frickin. Cold.
- Decluttering – too overwhelming, BUT the office looks better. SI continue to hang on to so many things, but hubby is far worse. If it has potential, he’s keeping it.
- Meditation – sometimes accomplished while lying around with the cat.
- Volunteering at shelter – really hard physical work. Have been taking hubby along (he offered and enjoys it) so that I could actually function during the afternoon after my morning session. I love the cats, there is virtually no human interaction, and very little is expected of me besides scooping, sweeping, mopping, running laundry, and sometimes feeding. I’m not trusted with anything beyond that and for the life of me I have to say that pisses me off. Not because I want extra responsibility, but it’s one more piece of evidence that now that I’m not a CEO, I am no longer competent to do much.
- Writing – this I can do, but I do not actually do it. I had a theme going, but I’m not sure what happened with that. I suppose I could finish off the remote history of my parents and start moving forward, but as time passes, I’m not seeing much of a clear path to having a relationship with my missing grandchildren for whom all that was being documented in the first place.
Well, that’s the state of things. Bottom line, I’m not sure who I am or what my point is anymore. I don’t want to be a housewife/housekeeper, but a lot of my life is just that. My compass is spinning. I suspect the best course of action is to get out of the house once a day and move – so back to the gym.